Having a baby comes with a whirlwind of emotions, a big one being guilt. I think a lot of the guilt comes from the fact that there really is no preparation for being a new mom. Sure, you can read a bunch of books, but at the end of the day it is like being thrown into a job you have not trained for, and I think that is why we feel guilty for every decision we make as mothers. We question whether what we are doing is the right or wrong thing to do because we actually have no idea.
As a brand new mom I was flooded with guilt, and still am at times.
I feel guilty for taking a nap and not getting any housework done.
I feel guilty for letting him cry a little bit, even if it means it will help him learn to self-soothe.
I feel guilty for supplementing with formula, because society has convinced me to feel this way.
I feel guilty for co-sleeping when I’ve needed to.
I feel guilty for taking time for myself.
I feel guilty for leaving him to go out and spend time with my husband. And I feel guilty for not leaving him to go out and spend time with my husband.
It’s endless guilt. In all honesty, it was wayyy worse at the beginning. It hasn’t gone away, but it has gotten better. I’m sure over time, and with more children it becomes easier to deal with.
I think it’s easy to feel guilty for almost every single thing when it comes to your baby. You want to do everything right, and you never feel that you are a good enough mother. But what I have come to learn is that there isn’t one “right” way to do things. What works for every mom and baby is different. I spend a lot of time googling questions I have, and it surprises me how much judgment there is amoungst moms about what is right and wrong. It’s insane! Ultimately, all of the debate over so many different issues comes from a place of love. We all love our children and want to do what is best for them.
Have I done everything right so far? In a literal sense probably not even close. I’ve put diapers on too loose or too tight, I’ve dressed him too warm or not warm enough, I’ve put him to bed too early, or kept him up too late, the list goes on and on. But, at the end of the day he is loved, and in that sense, I’ve done everything right.